Thursday, December 29, 2011

Letters from Jono

Not a lot to report since last blog since I haven't been out of the house except for my daily run followed by taking the dog for a walk as a warmdown. It's a sign of the times, or rather my age, that the dog forces me to run faster on the "walk" than I do on my actual run. The rest of the time I've been grinding away steadily, with good results. This week I've already won a $109 freezeout on Stars and a $50 freezeout on Ipoker to set up a triple crown sweat for the rest of the week. I've also shipped various satellites, won't bore you with the details here (that's what Twitter and Facebook are for).

Readers of the last blog entry will be relieved to hear that my friends Jono and Karl Henrik made it back safe and sound from the USA's most criminal city. Like a lot of young guys who makes his fortune from clicking buttons online, Jono's wealth is primarily of the "number on a screen" variety and he struggles to get his hands on actual currency. Since I possess some actual currency, I volunteered to help him out by swapping some of his online moneys for the money he'll need to fund him and his stable at the WPT. Stars seem to be slightly dubious of this young guy routinely moving around vast sums of money (obvious drug dealer), so when he transfered to yet another new person (ie., me), they sent him this email:

"Dear GAWA9,

As this transfer is very large, and you have not transferred to this player before, please confirm by email that you would like us to proceed with your request.

Please include the real name of the intended recipient in your response.

Thank you for your co-operation in this matter. We apologize if this extra security measure causes you any inconvenience.


PokerStars Security"

To which Gawa9 replied in his own inimitable manner:

Please proceed, his name is Dara O'Kearney, hes an excellent card
player, a good friend and has a hot daughter.


I say his own inimitable manner as Jono has considerable pedigree in support banter, with the following one he sent to Party a while back ranking as surely the finest piece ever by anyone anywhere:

"Hello Party Poker,

As Im sure you are aware, your server went down again today in the
middle of many tournaments. I am currently in the 20r 10k, 50 10k and
the 110 speed as well as registered for the 33t, 10r speed and 90 7k.
Obviously I expect refunds for all of these to be in my account by the
time I wake up tomorrow. Having dealt with this before its very
possible you will tell me this is a problem with my internet however I
am playing many other poker sites as well as browsing the world wide
web with no problems and all of my friends who play on your site have
the same problem so I think it's best if we dont drag this out and you
just hurry up and give me my money back.

If I were to liken your site, "Party Poker" to a party I might go to
in real life it would be a house party in which the host promises
girls and alcohol of the highest standard (great tournament schedule
and software) and the beer will be free (no rake) and the females lack
morals (soft fields). However upon arrival you discover that whilst
the alcohol and girls are amazing, they just randomly leave and your
left with frustrations of wondering what the fuck is going on and
nothing but a skanky hooker and a few cans of cheap lager.

I hope my analogy makes you see the error of your ways and maybe one
day you may even offer a quality service.

Thanks for the refunds in advance

Jonathan Crute



Hillarious, if poker dosent pan out for jono Im quiet sure he'd be a lock for a job at Hallmark :)


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